Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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