The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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