Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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