You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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