Duck Duck Cougar?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
