He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
