finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
