I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
