You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
