I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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