I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
