i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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