Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
