I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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