ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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