you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
