I CAN MOONWALK!
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
