I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
