Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
