He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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