How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
how does that bad decision feel?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
