I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
