very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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