apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My breasts were aching with rage.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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