Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
