What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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