Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
