I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
