That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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