Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I smell like Dick and happiness
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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