soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
