How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wish i was in the wii world.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
