well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
