let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
