Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Randomize
