I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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