After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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