$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
