I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
