Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
