Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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