Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
