All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
