I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
