is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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