the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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