it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
