i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
