There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
