so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
