Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
This is the high leading the old right now
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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