i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
